Adventures of Legoland

7/12/11
Our day began at 4am to get a 7:55am flight from Dallas Love Field to San Diego.
Our son suggested we get to Love at 6:25 to check-in. Where he suggested we park was a 15 min walk. Based on my math skills that meant we should plan to get there at 6:10am.
Google said it would take 50 min to get to Love from our house; an hour fifteen in traffic. So we decided to depart at 5:15.
We got the boys up at 4:40 to get dressed and a little breakfast - I thought we would eat at the airport - already a deviation in the plan.
We finally left at 5:20 which meant we were running behind schedule - maybe I can make it up by driving faster.
Once on the highway I knew we had miscalculated. Although more traffic than I had thought at 5-damn-45 in the morning, not nearly as much as Google thought.
We pulled into the airport at 6:05am. Whew, I didn't think we'd make it!! The walk was more like 10 min. - another 10 minutes gained.
We got the bags checked with no problem - free, I might add. When we went to the security area, commonly known as the groping area, we were directed to the "family check-in I thought, "here we go, segregating families from the all-important "business traveler". (Having been one I know that of which I speak - snobs that think they know more about what to remove and where.)
Yet, to my amazement we went through an empty aisle all the way to the front. I could sense all those got-an-important-meeting-types eye-balling us wondering why we were heading to the front!!
Another 20 minutes savings.
So here we are at 6:30am, past the pat-down (which was fairly enjoyable in the early morning) and now with 1 hr 25 min to kill.
So, we had breakfast at Chili's and waited. Actually, I had breakfast and the rest watched me since they had already eaten!
After breakfast we ambled toward the gate to assemble into our cattle trailer. Tanner once again amazed me with his math skills. He asked if he could go look at some candy that was no doubt the biggest sucker I have ever seen. So he went and after a few minutes came back and said,
"Those big suckers are $14 each. I could get one of those and some dip-dots (or something like) that for my sisters and still have $3 left!!"
We convinced him that wasn't going to happen.
Already Tanner and Quinn have told us "thank you for taking us"! While checking bags the bag-checker verified we were going to San Diego. Tanner immediately started telling her all about going to Legoland. He said "this is the best trip I've ever been on!!" Of course, he said that about going to New Mexico also!!
Finally, the time to arrange ourselves into groups and lines. Because we had paid an extra $5 per ticket we were allowed in the "A" group. Reflecting on my high school years I had rarely been in the "A" group. We were A32, A33, A34 and A35. I saw some posts and the last one had 26-30 and an arrow. I figured A32 came after A30 so we lined up at that post.
Then we started moving forward. Thankfully it wasn't to a volcano, I think.
When it was our turn to present our official boarding passes I then discovered the shiny posts with the numbers on them also had numbers on the other side. That side stared with 31 - 35, oops. We had actually entered the line in the wrong sequence. That was why, when we approached the wicked witch of the Southwest and dutifully presented our credentials she said "OH! 32, I wasn't prepared for you!" I said "OH! I thought 32 came around the same time as 30!" She responded, "But I wasn't ready for you!" The scene from "Meet the Parents" jumped into my head. When Gaylord (aka Greg)Folker got to the ticket taker she asked him to wait for his turn - he was the only one in the waiting area.
Our ticket taker knew she was no match for someone like me, so she waved us through.

San Antonio
We stopped but stayed on the plane to swap a bunch of bovines to head to San Diego - home of Legoland!!
We also relocated our seats. In our haste to get on to avoid being prodded by the cattle drivers, we sat in a row that was over a wing - not much to look at.
Now we are in the front and Tanner is at the window (Quinn said he had flown a bunch of times so it was OK!). I am afraid he will have a sore neck since he hasn't turned his head straight for about 30 minutes - and we have a 2 hr 50 min flight to San Diego!!

11:15 (CT) Somewhere over some place.
What the heck was I thinking! 3 hrs+ sitting on box with a strap, not to keep me safe, but to keep my butt in one place to prevent me from jumping up and screaming "GET ME OFF THIS DAMNED THING"
Can't sleep because my head falls off the back of a chair meant for a Pygmy. Can't stretch my legs for fear someone will trip and spill coffee on me. Can't play Angry Birds because I'm an adult.
Meanwhile a guy that boarded in San Antonio wearing basketball shorts (no doubt a player or a fan of the San Antonio Whatever's) and sporting an arm full of someone's idea of art-on-an-arm came meandering up from the bowels of the planes (not sure but I think I heard chickens back there). He had a camera (no doubt stolen, since that is what tattooed people do) and asked if he could squat down next to the window on my row to take a picture. No doubt our sky was prettier than the one he had "back there" in the cheap seats (that is, cheaper than American Airline seats).
When he pushed the little doo-hickey-picture-taking button it whirled like a little bitty chain saw.
He looked at the Korean woman next to me as if she understood a word of English and said "I just got a bunch of good pictures!" When he stood up Ellen, sitting across from me and back half a row (I'll explain later) heard the whirring noise and asked what it was (no doubt thinking he had just armed an IED.
As if he were speaking of his first born graduating from Kindygarden he said "8 frames per second - that means it takes 8 pictures in 1 second".
I thought to myself "thank you, Thunder!"
Mistaking the look on her face for someone who cared he then explained he could get it up to 1000 frames per second for video. He declared it to be the second fastest camera. I'm not sure if he meant on the plane, in the world, or in his world.
For some odd reason, Southwest must have determined that people sitting across the aisle posed some security issue. As a result, the right side is half a row behind the left side. Makes it very difficult to converse or hold hands with the person on the other side. I guess it is probably a good thing since my wife is with me.
I am not sure I can last another 45 minutes before we land. If this is my last entry - it was a good life.

6:06pm (PT) which is 8:06pm (CT) in San D-damn-iego
After landing we made it uneventfully to the baggage area and the rental car area. Waited for a car until they said we could take a Suburban so off we went.
As soon as we got in the substitute family truckster, we heard police sirens behind us. Or at least that is what we thought heard. Instead, it was the sounds coming from 2 boys with 2 iTouches playing games.
Mimi immediately commanded them to put the games up so they could at least say they actually saw San Diego.
A mistake was made when mention was made of earthquakes. After a few minutes Tanner asked "do earthquakes cause damage?"
Mimi said they caused more damage in northern California. To which he asked "are going to northern or southern California??"
After being assured this was not "earthquake season", he relaxed and said "it is beautiful here!"
We drove about 30 min to the LaQuinta (Spanish for "next to Denny's") and checked into the room where we put on swimming suits and headed to the beach.
After driving around the Pacific Ocean for about 30 min (the beach is only 3 blocks away but why get fit now) we found the free parking area and went to catch a wave so we could sit on top of the world (only Beach Boys fans would understand).
We knew from past excursions that the water would be cool. We were surprised to find it freezing. The smiles on our faces were frozen until an hour later as we basked like seals on the rocks. Not to get a more bronze-looking tan, but to absorb the heat from the rocks to keep from causing landslides from our shivering.
Quinn was the most adventuresome of the 4 of us. He kept wanting to go out further. So, the four of us walked hand in hand into the surf. The waves were about 2 feet and constant. No sooner than one would crash into us then another would follow.
The most fearsome part of the experience was the seaweed. Some of us (names are used to protect the chicken-livered) were convinced they were a part of some sea creature.
T & Q also made lakes in the sand. Yes, you read that correctly. They dug a hole about 2 inches deep then ran with cups we had bought into the surf to scoop up water. Then they wold run back to the "lake" only to have the surf swallow up the lake. I don't imagine the Corp of Engineers will be calling either of them!!!
Finally at 3:30 (aka 5:30 or 12 1/2 hours after the day began) we drug ourselves to the chariot and wished it to take to our castle.
But wait - we still have to eat dinner! If it hadn't been for those two Legolanders we would have been happy to get a bottle of wine and call it a day. But no, they wanted to actually have a meal.
I know that I wasn't the only one dragging when I turned around and looked at the boys heading to the car. I looked to make sure they had the proper attire on - shorts, shoes, shirts. That's when I noticed Quinn with a particularly odd looking pair of pants. Knowing I am not a paragon of fashion it did look odd to have two pockets in front. Not on the side of the front but on-the-front. As he walked past I noticed a zipper going up his butt. That's when I realized he had his pants on backwards!!
I had noticed a pocket was turned out so I asked him to put it back in. He almost dislocated his arm putting it back in place since it was facing backward. When we got in the car, he switched his pants around.
On the way to eat dinner we took them by Legoland for a preview and for us to see exactly where it was for tomorrow's assault. It is about 1.5 miles from the hotel. As we turned onto Legoland Drive and we could see some of the rides, they both said "thank you for bringing us to Legoland!!"
During dinner we talked about the next day and what we were going to do. Mimi made mention of seeing a map and looking at all the stuff. She said, "maybe we can get a map tomorrow when we first get there."
Tanner, being the ever so sweet big brother said, "I know, I'll get my sisters a map of Legoland! That way I get to keep all of the $20."
Quinn, being the levelheaded of the two said, "But Tanner they would never be able to use them!"
Another money making scheme spoiled!!
After dinner we made it to the room and within 30 minutes they are both out.

Me too.......

July 13 - Carlsbad, Ca. - home to nothing we know of except Legoland. And that is the quest today.
Everyone is up and at 'em by 6am - dang it. I was hoping for a 7am wake-up which would have given me time to go to the nearest Starbucks for a Big, Black, and Bold after I got up at 6:30am. But I am to be denied today.
Instead we all get up and, after getting dressed, go down for the free breakfast. And yes, it is true that some things are worth what you pay for them.
Having rid the evils of waffles from my diet months ago I prepare one for each of the boys. Tanner, for some odd reason, doesn't like butter or syrup on his waffles (must be that Lockhart gene).
Quinn also doesn't like butter but has to be careful about maple syrup. He cannot have real maple syrup. I assured him what the famous chef at LaQuinta provides has never seen the inside of a maple tree. Sure enough he ate it and we did not have to go to the ER.
Tanner had been coughing during the evening so we made a quick run to Rite Aid drug store, next door to Starbucks. This is when being only 5 min from your destination is a bummer. There are many things I will do, but buying coffee for $2.44 and having to throw most of it away is not one of them. So I savored every drop of the dark liquid I hesitate to even suggest came from a coffee bean. Juan Valdez would be ashamed.
Since the park opened at 9am we left to get us there at 9am. We drove up and I believe we were one of the first ten there. For some odd reason I started replaying the movie Vacation. I pretended to be parking near the exit to be the first ones out - no one else was thinking of the movie, I guess.
While the boys and I looked at the first of what would be no less than 5,000 buildings, people, towns, cities, etc., etc. made with Lego blocks, Mimi bought our tickets.
The next 10 1/2 hours is pretty much a blur now. Thankfully there is a multitude of pictures from 2 cameras and a phone and video from 1 of those cameras and the phone that should prompt my memory. At least those that will not require psychoanalysis.
To summarize the day went thusly:
Walk - stop and look - walk further - stop in amazement - walk - decide whether the ride was too scary - walk - walk - walk - stand in line for the non-scary rides - ride - walk - walk - stop and look at amazement...... you get the idea.
Toward the end of the day I am not sure if I was leaning due to the weight of the backpack on one shoulder or if the rubber on one shoe wore out.
At some point we had lunch. At the prices we paid I should say we had a gourmet lunch - but I can't. It was during that time we started thinking that we really could make it through the whole day. So, when to go to the "Water Park"?
It was decided, by whom I am not sure, that it should be the last thing. So we walked around in circles repeating the steps mentioned before for the following 3 hours. At some point we got out our trusty map and decided on a path that will lead us to the "Water Park".
It just so happens we were at the furthest part of the park away from the blessed "Water Park". So, off we go down and around the vendors, carnival barkers, ice cream parlors, basketball throws, water pistol contests, and various other opportunities to throw down $5 for a chance for a stuffed animal made in China worth about 50 cents.
When we got to the "Water Park" at 5:00 the boys and I went off to go down the Lazy River. Keep in mind that previously we asked about the water temperature. We were assured they "warmed" the water. While Ellen guarded our belongings from the foreign visitors from Pakistan, Korea and Nevada, I ventured into the warm waters of the "Water Park".
Having had a pool in a few houses I think I understand the relationship between water temperature and air temperature and the effects of heating pool water. We have always gone by the rule of thumb that the air temperature must be above 75 in the evening for the pool water to warm up.
For some unknown reason the idea that we were traveling to an area that rarely gets above 75 during the day and then go to a "Water Park" just did not make the connection.
Until I stuck foot in the water at the Lazy River. I am not sure what they mean by "warm the water", but they must have just chipped away the last of the ice if it was warmer than it could have been.
I have been on Lazy Rivers before but I was never so anxious for the water to start moving like the Colorado River in my life. It was so cold I sounded like I was screaming with joy and laughter when I was trying top catch my breath every time my belly sunk below the water. I did 15 minutes of crunches to keep my back straight while laying atop an inner tube. I guess you could say I was planking that damned inner tube.
Between my stomach and neck muscles cramping due to prolonged flexing and the cramping my feet get when submerged in ice water, I was pretty much done with the "Water Park". Of course, T&Q had a blast.
Around 5:30 there was a consensus that the "Water Park" was less than we imagined.
As were leaving the Ice Palace, I noticed something strange. It was like deja vu. Of course, less than 50 yards from the exit of the Water Wonderland was the place where we had lunch!! We had been so close but had to walk so far. Life isn't fair.

9pm
After "whispering" for about 10 minutes I told them to close their eyes and mouths. Less than 10 min later they were out!!
It took Ellen less than 5 min from the time she hit the bed until her lights were out. The thimble of wine she had helped a little!!
Now it's my turnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

July 14 - our last day on the left coast.
For today's activities we had thought of going back to the beach for the morning. Decided it wasn't worth having to come back to the room to get showered and dressed and packed before heading to the airport.
Yesterday around 11am Ellen had the idea that "for only $10 more we could extend our tickets for the following morning." That was vetoed at 6pm yesterday.
So, we could either sit in the 100 sq. ft. motel room and watch the kids play with their newly-aquired swords or we could go see some ships next to the airport.
Off we went to the ships at Port San Diego. But first, a short stop at Starbucks to get our second, yes, second round of coffee and hot chocolate before 9:00am (it was going to be a much better day.
On the drive in, everyone decided they couldn't wait the 30 min to get to our destination so we pulled off for a potty-stop.
While they were inside I decided to call the LaCheata since the email I received said they charged us more than the confirmation said it would be. The confirm said $89 and they charged $116. They said I had to fax them my confirmation. Lesson learned - whoever makes the reservations, goes through the check-in process and the check-out process.
While driving around figuring out where to park near which ship, Tanner suddenly said "I saw a dead man on the ground!" Of course, being of a wordly nature I wanted to say, "Probably just a bum sleeping!" Instead, I said "Probably someone camping out." Neither Tanner nor Quinn bought that. All of a sudden Tanner wasn't interested in seeing the "big ships." We finally convinced him it wasn't a dead person.
We have our choice of going on the U.S.S. Midway or an old "pirate" ship. T&Q decided the Midway was their choice. What things played a role in their decision making process I'll never know. But, Midway it was.
After spending $50 for 2 "seniors" (we lied about our age since we were 1 yr off the acceptable age) and 2 "yuts". Of course, then I thought, "do they really think we look like we are 62??"
We got our headphones and self-guided tour recorders. Of course, it could not have been a simple push a button and listen. There was one color for adults and one for the "yuts". We then signed up T&Q to get their "pilkot wings" which meant they were supposed to answers questions found along the tour. They said it would take about 2 hrs so we knew we had to intervene - in other words cheat.
After the "tour" began T began talking about a staircase we had to go up. Not knowing if he was having a religious experience, Ellen listened to what his headphones we saying. We are not sure where he was on "his tour" but where we were. So we abandoned the headphones and went on a "self-guided" tour.
Interesting if your into to boats and planes, apparently they were not. So we made our way to the cafeteria to chow down on S.O.S.
Before making it to the cafe we went to the "head" - I could tell you why they it that but then you would have no reason to take the tour. I could also tell you the most frequent injury on the ship as mentioned on the tapes, but then you would have to hear how I bumped my head on the head. Did I say bump" I meant to say knocked the crap out of head. I guess I do need to still have people remind me to "watch your head!"
While we waited for the navy's version of a $5 Reuben sandwich that cost an arm and a leg, I listened to the headsets and filled in the answers to the questions. I then, without alerting any of the officials, gave my answers to Ellen so she could complete the other test. Lord knows I would not want them to think the same person cheated on two tests. I tried to write like a soon-to-be third grader until I realized it was better than mine, so I went with mine.
After lunch we turned in our tests. While waiting in line the boy ahead of us was asked if he had had any help. I knew then we were about to be hauled to the brig and fed bread and water for a maximum of 3 weeks (more info on the tour). I knew that because if either T or Q were asked that question they would confess that I had actually taken the test.
Thankfully, the other scorer ( a woman) did not ask the question so we now have two Junior Pilots among us.
Following the very short ride to the car rental return and the bus ride to the airport area then the walk to the ticket counter, we finally were on the last leg of the journey. Actually, next to the last since we have a stop in Albuquerque before getting to Dallas.

San Diego Airport
Thankfully, our flight was out of Gate 2 which only had a small line going through security checkpoint. We got through the ID-checker ok and began disrobing. The boys got their shoes off ok and went through the metal detector without being detected for anything metal - I guess braces don't count.
Then it was my turn. I noticed they would alternate between the detector and the full body x-ray. You know, the ones that do what every 13 yr old wished their glasses did while growing up in the 60's.
So instead of removing shoes, coins, phones, computers, metal toothpicks, and other dangerous contraband, I was also instructed to remove belt, watch, ring, and any paper including boarding passes, wallets, etc. So I had to drag my buckets out of the big-box-that-looks-like-an-x-ray to put all those things in them.
Then I was told to enter the machine and put my feet into the drawings on the floor and raise my hands as pictured on the machine. Let it be known to all the terrorists of the world, if you are 6'8" your hands will be above the x-ray. Therefore, simply implant anything you want into the hands of those idiots and they will not see it. To assist in their search for whatever they are looking for, assuming not porno-stars, I lowered my hands to be in the view of the machine. "Raise your hands as illustrated", I was told. So be it, I did and let them know they were Number 1 in the event a videographer was looking.
When I exited the machine a large black woman stood in front of me. She reminded me of a few defensive tackles I had played against at NT. I was then approached from behind and asked to remove the paper object in my left pocket.
I felt around the outside and announced "Noting there1" To which 007 said, "Are you sure?" I felt myself again and said, yu are welcome to search if you think I am unable to do so myself.
All this time I had, indeed felt something in my right pocket, but had not asked me about that side!! So he commenced his activity by announcing to someone "body search". He then announced, "you are clear to go". At which point I said, "Great machine you got there."
Now I had to go retrieve my buckets and dress myself. Of course, I know I know I could have gone to the dressing area and done this, but I fell back into my traveling days and decided "they caused this delay so I am going to continue it". At which point I slowly reassembled myself.
Now for the 2 hr wait.
We finally were able to get aboard flight whatever to go home by way of Albuquerque. Nothing exciting on the first leg. Everyone sat and read or played games. Between the people in front of us with a video they had a hard time hearing (I say that because it was loud enough for the rest of the plane to hear) and the people behind us talking and laughing loudly (I guess they couldn't hear themselves laugh over the roar of the engines) I felt I was in a park designed for children with children all over the place. Oh yeah - I just back from Legoland.
We then landed and the musical seats began. We moved closer to the front so the view out the window would be better. At the same time Mimi took the boys to the restroom. While waiting the pilot came out and saw their "wings" they had earned on the Midway.
Finally Quinn got to go the the restroom. While I did not personally witness the following, I got it from someone who was there - my sources will remain nameless.
When Quinn went in he slid the lock in place. When he tried to leave he was unable to slide it the other way. He began jiggling the slider to no avail. After a few minutes Q was heard in a muffled voice "HELP ME". My source then alerted the flight attendant that "someone was lockers in the toilet. He made several attempts to open the door. I picture Q pushing one way and the steward pushing the opposite working against each other. Since this was also the boarding time for the people going to Dallas and other points, a logjam of sorts developed.
Meanwhile, the steward got out his handy secret tool and began a final assault on the errant lock. Sure enough, persistency works and the boy from the toilet emerged.
When asked "were you scared", Q said, "not really". A man next in line said "I was because I have never been late for a flight that was delayed because a kid got locked in the toilet!!
Everyone was safe back in their seats when we were off on the last leg of our Legoland Adventure.
The Eagle has landed..
Thirty minutes ahead of schedule, we arrived in Dallas. Of course, it couldn't be that simple. As we walked toward baggage claim I realized I loft by cellphone clipped to the pocket on the seat in front of me. So, I hurried back to the gate. The problem is I didn't know which gate we had come into. So I quickly walked to an unknown destination. Finally at Gate 12 I saw a Southwest person and reluctantly asked "Where did the flight from ABQ arrive?"
"Gate 5", he said. So I turned around and headed back to Gate 5. As I rounded the corner Ellen and the boys were there walking back to the gate also. Apparently Tanner had left his iTouch in his seat.
I got permission to go back to the plane and retrieved both items.
But the day hasn't quite ended. After we got our bags we headed to the car. As we retraced our steps from 3 days earlier I started thinking about where, exactly, we left the car.
We stepped out of the elevator then it dawned on me - I had no clue. So, the hunt was on. Of course, I thought about using the car alarm to locate the missing car, but I had left the keys under the floor mat so as not to have a set of keys to carry around.
So we walked aimlessly for a few minutes thinking the car would either come to us or magically appear. I asked to no one in particular, "anyone know where we left the car?" Quinn immediately said "Row G" - as if he really knew.
Then Ellen said "It rhymed with something". As we turned down Row G it dawned on me - "2 G or not 2 G, that is the question." And there it was, our ride home. Quinn really did know where we had parked. I guess I should have asked him in the beginning!!
But wait, the day isn't done. On the way home I had thought T & Q would fall asleep. But I would be wrong. Instead they got a second wind and went a little goofy. They decided they were going to talk in "funny voices" all the way home.
As we turned onto Swisher Ellen resorted to a tactic reserved for only the most severe situations - bribery. She pulled the "I'll give you $1 to be quite between now and home" - about 10 minutes.
Tanner broke after about 2 minutes! He then declared, "I didn't want the $1 anyway" - there goes that Lockhart gene again!!
Finally, the garage door opened and Lucy came out to greet us. We unloaded and about 20 minutes later T & Q were in bed and asleep.
So ends the Adventures of Legoland. We have a couple of years before the next journey begins with Nora and Katherine. Mimi has already started thinking of where to take them - but I won't tell.